1. Ask, Don’t Tell
One of the most important aspects of effective communication is the ability to listen. When communicating with your parents during midlife, it is important to ask questions and truly listen to their perspective. This means not just hearing their words but also trying to understand their point of view. Asking questions to understand puts you on their side and allows you and your parent to consider options together. By asking questions and truly listening, you can build a deeper understanding of your parents and their experiences.
2. Share Feelings
Another important aspect of effective communication is the ability to share your feelings and find out what emotions your parent is feeling. Here’s an example: “When Mom went to the hospital, I felt scared and helpless, especially since Dad didn’t know what was happening to you and I was 7 hours away. How did you feel?” By sharing feelings, you can create a deeper connection and build stronger relationships with your parents.
3. Speak to Loss
Loss is an inevitable part of life. Our parents are often facing significant losses (friends and family who have passed away, reduced health, giving up pastimes they loved and can no longer do, loss of independence, moving to a new location, etc.) Speaking to loss gives your parents permission to grieve. It shows your empathy with their experience and reinforces your relationship.
Navigating changing relationships with your parents during midlife can be challenging. Following the strategies of ask, don’t tell; share feelings; and speak to loss, you can improve communication with your parents and build stronger relationships with them. Remember to listen to understand their perspective, show how you feel and invite them to do the same, and give yourself and your parents permission to mourn losses.
If you are navigating your midlife years feeling stuck and unfulfilled, come join my free Midlife Women Finding Fulfillment Facebook community for inspiration.
